The Story so Far

The Planet Peatoria

Picture of Peatoria taken from its moon.

          Seven million light years from Earth, around a yellow sun in the constellation of the great moose, rotates a planet known by it's inhabitants as Peatoria. It was so named by its once emperor, Pea-Tsar the Great.


The Inhabitants of Peatoria

Some Peatorians having a party

          Peatoria contains much flora and fauna similar to earth, however the dominant intelligent species is very different. They appear as spheres or ellipsoids with eyes and mouths, but no noses or ears. A few of these inhabitants can grow hair of the same colors as human hair.

          These inhabitants come in many different colors, with the most common being orange and green. This color may change, sometimes drastically, due to aging or a great trauma.

          While not possessing any arms or legs, the Peatorians are able to manipulate objects through a sticky secretion that adheres objects to their sides, and muscles that push these objects around.

          Adult Peatorians range from one-half foot to ten feet in height. Peatorian children age very quickly and are fully grown by the time they are three years old, which has put quite a strain on the Peatorian school system. The maximum life-span of Peatorians is, however, about that of humans.

          Highly advanced technology is available on Peatoria, including space-ships and laser-guns, but the majority of the population lives as they would have in the middle ages, by farming. Only a small portion of the population lives in the luxury of the highly advanced cities.


The History of Peatoria
compiled by PUSH (the Peatoria Underground Society of Historians)

Three Ages of Darkness

These two wicked beings ruled our planet

          The first three ages of Peatoria are known as the ages of darkness because during them, like in the dark, no one had any idea what was going on.

          In the first age of darkness, known as 'Resurrection', Peatoria was ruled by a great Evil Empire that used a giant spherical spaceship and armies of nasties to control the population. A hero appeared from out of nowhere and defeated the Evil Empire by defeating the nasties and blowing up their spaceship's generator. The hero then found himself trapped by a person known as Kan. He was able to defeat Kan, however, and leave him stranded in outer space.

          In the second age of darkness, known as 'Atomic', Kan returned and dropped a nuclear bomb onto the hero's home town. The hero was able to track down Kan through a series of nasties that had been altered with radiation, and eventually tricked Kan into destroying his own spaceship while the hero escaped unharmed. Everyone, including the hero, believed that Kan was killed in his spaceship's explosion.

          In the third and final age of darkness, known as 'Christmas', the hero tracked several surviving nasties to the north pole where they were building a new spaceship with a new generator that they had found. The hero destroyed the nasties and blew up their reactor, escaping quickly, leaving our world safe for a short time longer.

Three Ages of Conquest

The BORD were the first stage of Kan's attack

          The ages of conquest are known as such because it was during them that Kan used his power to takes over our land.

          In the first age of conquest, known as 'First Contact', the hero who had saved us from the first three darknesses was sleeping calmly on his dirt farm when he was awakened by two students of his, little green-pea and little purple kid. The two children showed him a bizarre spaceship that had crashed, but when the hero went inside to investigate his students were captured by one of the aliens from the spaceship, a BORD.

          The hero fought long and hard against the BORD and their allies until he was able to fly aboard a BORD cube in the upper atmosphere. The hero used the power of an ancient artifact known as the Wall of Lights to save the children and destroy the BORD cube, but then found himself floating in a ethereal void. Within the void Kan appeared, obviously more powerful than he was before, and captured the hero.

          In the second age of conquest, known as 'Pagoon', Kan dropped the hero onto a distant alien planet known as Pagoon, promising the hero that he would take over Peatoria in his absence. The hero survived the many dangers of Pagoon, then found a way into the ethereal plane, by which all worlds are connected, and began to make his way home.

          However, during the hero's sojourn to Pagoon, Kan used his new powers to take over Peatoria. Armies of nasties swept our land, destroying all in their paths. Normal people were enslaved as the nasties ruled supreme. Much of the formerly green land was now a barren wasteland, being scorched dry by the battles.

          Kan then divided the planet up into twelve nations, each ruled by a different Nasty Lord. These Nasty Lords varied widely in power and abilities, but they were all terrible and would have ruled with iron fists if they'd had hands.

          During this time many people began to believe that the hero abandoned us in our hour of need, especially with Kan telling us that our former hero was on vacation as the armies devastated our land. Because of this the public opinion was turned against our former hero, making Kan's conquest that much easier.

          In the third age of conquest, known as 'Gal', a female with the same first name as the hero took it upon herself to free the land in the hero's absence. She made three great victories over nasties coming forth from nasty spawners, but then was captured by one of the Nasty Lords.

One Age of Armageddon

The hero encountered many horrors in Pacula's castle

          The ages we are in now are known as the ages of armageddon because they mark the point at which the hero of old has returned to do battle with Kan. And surely the final battle between good and evil can be called nothing less.

          In the age of armageddon known as 'Pacula's Curse' the hero of old was stunned, upon his return two years after his departure, to find himself standing in the wasteland of what had been his former home. He fought many nasties and eventually discovered that his former home of Happy Sunshine Land had been renamed Kansylvania and that it was ruled by a Nasty Lord known as Pacula.

          Ever fearless, the hero fought his way to the bottom of Pacula's castle and defeated Pacula. However, Pacula then revealed to the hero that two more Nasty Lords, Ultimeneinasenshun and Ernie Smellur, had captured his uncle, Uncle Patches. The hero rushed to get to them but it was too late, Uncle Patches had been frozen in carbonite!
          Ultimeneinasenshun then splashed some purported acid into the face of the hero causing him to fall off the cliff!

          This is as much as we know, the fate of the hero, and our land with him, is still unknown...

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